Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
