i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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