I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
