They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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