Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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