I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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