I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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