I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dear god my vagina.
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