Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
