four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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