weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.