ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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