A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
