Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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