i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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