i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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