Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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