Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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