I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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