Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
His nipple licking is glorious
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