Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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