with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
