I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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