I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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