I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
