when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
