Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
