she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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