I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
