Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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