I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
