For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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