so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
