3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
