so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
