GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
