You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize