its not stalking. its research.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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