sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
