You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
