He is an equal opportunity slut.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
