I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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