Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
