so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize