This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
