Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
