Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
