I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize