I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
