i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
