How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
