you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
