thus making me awesome and them whores
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
