it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
