this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
