no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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