I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
